omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
