I CAN MOONWALK!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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