I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
