my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
