I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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