That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
