I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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