U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
