can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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