would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
