Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Randomize
