i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
