i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Randomize
