duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
