On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
