Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Randomize
