We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Randomize
