I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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