your parents love me but you hate me
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
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