On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
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