I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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