Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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