Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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