Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
