yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
