i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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