What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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