I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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