I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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