I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
