Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
