It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
pop tarts are not kleenex
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
