So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
