i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
