I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
