Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I think I died a long time ago.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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