chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
