I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
