I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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