There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
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