i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
