Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
