i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize