I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
