My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
