And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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