Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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