I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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