I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
