you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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