I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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