My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
