Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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