yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
