what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
