3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
