He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
