You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize