All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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