at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
