Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Church boner. Awkwardddd
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
